Fiction Friday - Comic Script, Scouting for Dummies
PAGE ONE
Pic 1
All the pages are built on an three tier, six panel grid.
One whole tier for an establishing shot. Our three protagonists are being introduced.
CAPTION ALVIN, BRIAN, AND CHIP ARE NICE GUYS.
CAPTION THEY’RE ALSO LAZY, EASILY DISTRACTED AND DON’T SHOWER ENOUGH.
Pic 2
The first panel of the second tier is the three of them managing to fail at tying knots so spectacularly that all three are connected by a mass of tangled rope. Just a mess.
CAPTION THEY’RE ALSO THE WORST SCOUTS EVER.
CAPTION THEY WERE UNABLE TO RAISE THE FLAG.
Pic 3
The waterfront director is in pain as each of them has a canoe, one of which overturned in the water, another beached ashore, and the third is tangled in the buoy and rope and is immobile.
CAPTION THEY ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED THE ART INSTRUCTOR UNCONSCIOUS.
Pic 4
The entire lower tier. The three of them huddled around a topographical map. One holds a compass. In a clearing in the woods.
CAPTION SO EVEN AS A JOKE, THE COUNSELORS SHOULD NOT HAVE LET THEM TEAM UP ON A BACKWOODS ORIENTEERING COURSE.
PAGE TWO
Pic 1
Entire tier for the establishing shot. The three walking single file in the desert from a distance. Think Lawrence of Arabia. The figures dwarfed against the landscape.
CAPTION ONE WEEK LATER.
Pic 2
Second tier has two panels
ALVIN: OKAY THE ARROW KEEPS POINTING THIS WAY SO THAT’S NORTH.
BRIAN: NO, IT’S MAGNETIC NORTH
Pic 3
Second panel in second tier
CHIP: IT’S NOT THE SAME THING?
BRIAN: NO, IT’S SOMEWHERE IN CANADA.
Pic 4
Third tier has two panels
ALVIN: THEN ACTUAL NORTH IS...
CHIP: SOMEWHERE SOUTH OF IT?
Pic 5
Second panel in third tier.
The three of them scratching their heads, completely baffled. Not the first time that’s ever happened.
[no dialogue]
PAGE THREE
Pic 1
Slice each tier into two panels each.
ALVIN: NO, FORGET THAT.
Pic 2
BRIAN: OKAY, NORTH IS THERE, SO SOUTHWEST IS...THAT WAY?
CHIP: SO WE GO 200 METERS IN THAT DIRECTIONS.
Pic 3
BRIAN: DUDE, FORGET THE MAP.
ALVIN: YEAH, FOLLOWING THE MAP IS WHAT GOT US IN TROUBLE.
Pic 4
CHIP: BUT HOW WILL WE FIND OUR WAY BACK?
ALVIN: DUDE, WE’RE OFF THE MAP.
Pic 5
BRIAN: ARE YOU SURE?
Pic 6
CHIP: THE MAP DOESN’T HAVE A BIG HONKING DESERT ON IT, NOW DOES IT?
PAGE FOUR
Pic 1
Take the entire top tier. Another picture of them dwarfed by the landscape.
BRIAN: I BLAME THE MAP.
ALVIN: STUPID MAP.
Pic 2
CHIP: WE’RE OFF THE MAP.
ALVIN: NO MAN’S LAND.
Pic 3
BRIAN: I ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE OFF THE GRID.
CHIP: WE’RE IN A DESERT AND THERE’S NO WATER. THIS IS SO NOT COOL.
Pic 4
ALVIN: THIS IS ALL ROCK SO IT’S NOT TECHNICALLY DESERT.
BRIAN: YEAH AREN’T DESERTS SANDY? WE’RE JUST IN A VERY DRY, HOT CLIMATE.
Pic 5
CHIP: WITH NOTHING TO DRINK.
ALVIN: THE ANIMALS MUST DRINK SOMEHOW.
PAGE FIVE
Pic 1
Take the top tier. Vultures lazily circling overhead
CHIP (FROM OFF): LIKE THOSE HAWKS.
ALVIN (FROM OFF): THOSE AREN’T HAWKS. THEY’RE VULTURES.
BRIAN (FROM OFF): YOU MEAN THEY’RE JUST WAITING FOR US TO DIE?
Pic 2
Closeup on one of the vultures winking at us.
BRIAN (FROM OFF): THAT IS SO UNCOOL.
Pic 3
ALVIN: WELL IF WE DON’T FIND WATER SOON, IT’LL BE PRETTY EASY FOR THEM.
CHIP: THAT’S SO WRONG.
Pic 4
BRIAN: YEAH THEY SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE TO WORK FOR IT.
Pic 5
The other two glare at him
BRIAN: WHAT?
PAGE SIX
Pic 1
Along the top of the panels for the rest of the page have BUZZZZZZZZ going across the length of the page (or across the bottom of each panel, whichever works better for you)
CHIP: DO YOU HAVE A BUZZING IN YOUR EARS?
ALVIN: YEAH. HIM.
Pic 2
CHIP: DARN.
BRIAN: NO, I HEAR IT TOO.
Pic 3
ALVIN: I THINK IT’S A PLANE.
CHIP: I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING.
Pic 4
BRIAN: HELP!
ALVIN: HELP!
CHIP: HELP!
Pic 5
Bleed out the panels into one, cause take the entire tier. The BUZZZZZ continues across this panel. Have the three of them dancing, waving, moving around to make themselves noticed (or doing modern dance)
[no dialogue]
PAGE SEVEN
Pic 1
BRIAN: I WISH THERE WAS A TREE WE COULD LIGHT ON FIRE
ALVIN: NO SUCH LUCK
Pic 2
CHIP: NO MORE BUZZING.
ALVIN: DARN.
Pic 3
BRIAN is on the left side of the panel, finding himself under a patch of shade. The other two are rushing over into the shade.
BRIAN: HEY GUYS. SHADE
ALVIN: MUST BE A PASSING CLOUD.
CHIP: ALMOST AS GOOD AS WATER.
Pic 4
ALVIN: WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?
CHIP: SAY WHAT?
Pic 5
BRIAN: NOW I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.
ALVIN: YEAH, THANKS.
Pic 6
CHIP: FOR WHAT?
BRIAN: FOR SAYING IT.
PAGE EIGHT
Pic 1
CHIP: SAYING WHAT?
ALVIN: OH JUST ENJOY THE SHADE.
Pic 2
BRIAN is looking up and tapping the other two on the shoulders.
BRIAN: UH, GUYS
ALVIN: WHAT?
BRIAN: I DON’T THINK THIS IS A CLOUD.
Pic 3
All three looking up
AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH
Pic 4
The three take off in three different directions.
[no dialogue]
Pic 5
Take the entire tier. A massive pallet of boxes has landed on the ground kicking up a small dust storm.
PAGE NINE
Pic 1
Take the top tier to get a better look at it now that the dust has settled and we see that it’s huge. They approach it slowly, like it’s the monolith from 2001.
Pic 2
Take the second tier. They’re staring at one corner of the pallet which has boxes labelled “water”.
ALVIN: IT LOOKS REAL
BRIAN: IT FEELS REAL
CHIP: DOES THAT SAY WHAT I THINK IT SAYS?
Pic 3
With the long blades of their pocket knives held in a stabbing motion, the three simultaneously attack the box labelled ‘water’.
Pic 4
Predictably, water gushes out at them.
PAGE TEN
Pic 1
The stabbed containers now bled dry, water leaks from the large holes left in the box. The knives have been scattered and the three are lying in a shallow puddle created by the water. Despite not having really drank any of it, they feel better.
ALVIN: OKAY LET’S THINK THIS THROUGH.
Pic 2
The three are now drinking from large bottles leaning against one side of the pallet which is creating shade. They seem more relaxed. In the foreground is the puddle, now smaller, from the previous panel. Two vultures have landed and are lapping up water.
BRIAN: THAT IS SO UNCOOL.
Pic 3
Closeup on the guys leaning against the pallet in a row. A note is attached to the far end, away from where they were stabbing earlier.
CHIP: IF I WASN’T SO TIRED I’D CHASE THEM OFF.
BRIAN: UM, WHY IS WATER BEING AIRLIFTED TO THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?
Pic 4
One of them notices the note.
ALVIN: I SAID BEFORE, IT’S NOT A DESERT.
CHIP: HEY. A NOTE.
Pic 5
The note written in block handwriting and signed with a flourish.
Sorry it took four years for the airlift. We had some budget cuts. Will be in touch soon. Hope all is well. Joe. P.S. Got promoted. You can call me Sir now. Just kidding. Captain will do.
PAGE ELEVEN
Pic 1
Take the top two thirds of the page for this panel. A single story log cabin on stilts just a few feet off the ground crouched atop a small rocky promontory. A few trees are scattered around, the start of the forest that stretches in the other direction. Stairs have been cut into the rock leading up to the cabin. Next to the stairs is a sign reading “Backcountry Ranger Station.”
The three are in the foreground. One is holding the note and reading it, one is looking over his shoulder reading the note, the other is looking behind them at the building.
ALVIN: DID THEY GET TURNED AROUND, TOO?
BRIAN: YEAH I DON’T SEE ANYTHING.
CHIP: HAS THIS BEEN HERE ALL ALONG?
Pic 2
Take the bottom tier for the three of them making their way to the cabin.
ALVIN: MAYBE WE SHOULD SAY HI.
BRIAN: MAYBE WE SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR DRINKING HIS WATER.
CHIP: MAYBE HE KNOWS WHERE WE ARE.
PAGE TWELVE
Pic 1
Peering into the open door, one head on top of the other.
ALVIN: HELLO? MR. RANGER?
CHIP: THE NOTE SAID IT’S BEEN FOUR YEARS SINCE THEY SENT WATER.
Pic 2
Inside the cabin
BRIAN: SO WHAT, HE TURNED TO DUST?
ALVIN: MAYBE
CHIP: THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS
Pic 3
BRIAN: MAYBE HE’S FIXING THE WIRES
ALVIN: WHAT WIRES?
Pic 4
Standing just outside the door, BRIAN points to wires leading from the roof of the cabin into the woods.
BRIAN: THOSE WIRES
Pic 5
Having loaded their packs with food from the pallet, they set off into the woods following the wires.
ALVIN: WE’VE WALKED THIS FAR...
Pic 6
A Bear in a tattered ranger outfit.
[no dialogue]
PAGE THIRTEEN
Pic 1
ALVIN: IT’S THE RANGER
BRIAN: RANGER, WE HAVE A NOTE FROM YOUR BOSS JOE.
Pic 2
The bears roars
Pic 3
CHIP: I DON’T THINK THAT’S THE RANGER.
Pic 4
They jump, scared for their lives and about to run as soon as their feet hit the ground.
AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH
Pic 5
The three of them running, the bear somewhere behind them off frame.
ALVIN: IS HE THE TREE CLIMBING KIND OF BEAR?
CHIP: HE LOOKS TOO HEAVY FOR THAT.
Pic 6
The bear on all fours running after them.
ALVIN (FROM OFF): SO HE KNOCKS THEM DOWN?
BRIAN (FROM OFF): MAYBE HE JUST SHAKES PEOPLE OUT OF TREES?
PAGE FOURTEEN
Pic 1
The three run up the side of a tree in single file
CHIP: WHO CARES
Pic 2
Bear standing at the base of the tree. Gets conked on the head by something not easily identifiable.
BRIAN (FROM OFF): HEY BEAR, TAKE THIS
Pic 3
The three are sitting on a tree limb
ALVIN and CHIP: GOOD SHOT!
Pic 4
The bear is pissed off.
ROAR
Pic 5
The other two are pissed off now.
ALVIN and CHIP: BAD SHOT!
Pic 6
The bear picks up the small package thrown at him and rips it open.
ALVIN (FROM OFF): WHAT WAS THAT?
BRIAN (FROM OFF): FREEZE DRIED SALMON.
PAGE FIFTEEN
Pic 1
They’re climbing down the tree.
BRIAN: I’VE DECIDED TO NAME THE BEAR BEAUREGARD.
ALVIN: YOU’RE NOT NAMING THE BEAR THAT
Pic 2
Two have reached the ground, the third is about to jump the last few feet.
BRIAN: I KEPT HIM FROM EATING US SO I GET TO NAME HIM
FROM OFF: EARL
Pic 3
The three of them and the bear in a single shot. No one moves.
[no dialogue]
Pic 4
Same image as before.
BEAR: EARL
Pic 5
ALVIN: HIS NAME’S EARL
BRIAN: EARL’S A GOOD NAME
CHIP: GOOD EARL
Pic 6
BEAR: EARL
BRIAN: NOT MUCH VOCABULARY ON THIS BEAR
PAGE SIXTEEN
Pic 1
The other two and the bear look at him.
[no dialogue]
Pic 2
Same image as previous panel.
BRIAN: FINE. THEN I’M CALLING THE VULTURE BEAUREGARD.
Pic 3
The telegraph machine in the corner is going wild.
ALVIN (FROM OFF): WHAT’S IT SAYING
BRIAN (FROM OFF): I DON’T KNOW, IT’S TOO FAST.
CHIP (FROM OFF): TRY THIS
Pic 4
A closeup of a hand tapping on the telegraph. Next to it display the Morse Code langauge for O and K.
ALVIN (FROM OFF): IT STOPPED.
Pic 5
Sleeping bags laid out on the floor. The bear is sleeping rug-like in the front of the fireplace.
CHIP: BUT WHAT WAS IT SAYING?
ALVIN: WE’LL DEAL WITH IT IN THE MORNING.
Pic 6
Skeleton in ranger outfit in upper branches of a tall tree. Still wearing outfit. Vulture lands on branch. Moon rising over the desert floor. Looks very pretty. And a little creepy.